It is an obvious truth that we, as Christians, categorize sins. Things like an occasional lie or gossip, greed, lust, or over-eating, are "weaknesses" rather than sin. Adultery, murder, and maybe most of all, homosexuality, are damnable. I've always found it funny that we feel the need to classify sins vs. weaknesses in this way; after all, the Bible never does.
"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
I think we all know quite a few idolaters, greedy business men (and women), and people who love to spread gossip. But I don't think we really take to heart that these people will not inherit the Kingdom any sooner than the homosexual, or the thief. Now, clearly, all sin is not equal in consequence. Homosexual lust is a sin, but you cannot contract AIDS by lusting. Lusting after a women is adultery, but the offender is not involving her in the process (thereby avoiding the risk to her marriage, even if destroying his own). But what we should be focusing on, instead of spending so much time seeking out "safe" ways to sin, is the fact that all sin is equal in it's ability to separate us from God.
"Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
I am often asked if my husband's porn/fantasy addiction has been easier for me to overcome than his physical cheating. I do not wish to offend anyone, but the short answer might appropriately be, "DUH!". The airbrushed woman in a magazine is not likely to send you a text message, telling you that it is your fault, not hers, that your marriage is over. The porn actress that your husband views online will never laugh at you when you catch her in your bed. Your husband will not run into his porn whores on the street, and if he did, you can bet he would probably not recognize them. The consequences of porn addiction are not the same as a physical affair. Nevertheless, the Bible clearly calls these sins of lust "adultery of the heart".
"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
We see the outward things of man, but the Bible tells us that the Lord looks at the heart. Therefore, if we are committing adultery in our hearts, if we are in possession of an adulterous heart, the Lord sees it that way. I think we should endeavor to see these things the way that God sees them. And actually, lust is such a dangerous and damning sin that Jesus suggests that one should gouge out his own eyes before allowing it to continue (lest it drag the offender to hell). I think what we often miss from this passage of scripture is that it was not written to shame men into purity. It is calling all Christians to a deeper, truer, level of holiness than was present under the law of Moses. When Jesus spoke these words he was about to die for the sins of the world, and surely he expects us to treat his blood as more precious than that of animals. As long as we reserve the right to sin, in any capacity, we deny the power of his blood.
Clearly (sadly but apparently), the injury caused to his wife is not enough to stop a man from groping strangers with his mind. I, and many women I speak with, have "felt" groped, sometimes even raped, on numerous occasions by the obvious mauling we have received at the mercy of a man's lustful eyes. A man can hide many things from his wife, so I believe that he must find a way to see his life as lived constantly before an observant Savior. However, I don't think that Jesus wants us to stop sinning out of fear, but out of love and gratitude.
"'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."
Pure sex, perfect sex, beautiful, loving, passionate, marital sex is a picture of Christ and the church. When we distort it, in any way, we are spitting in the face of the ultimate groom. Married Christians are in a unique position to protect this beautiful picture. I think it is about time we started seeing our marriages this way.
The reason I am writing this post, however, is not to settle whether lust is adultery. I have been meditating on the verses directly above the adultery passage. Apparently, I am married to an adulterer, and he is married to a murderer. I am a murderer, or at least I should be subject to the same judgment. Just as in the adultery passage, however, I cannot be shamed into speaking graciously, to being angry but sinning not. I pray that God will instill this desire deep into my soul, and that every word I speak will be spoken openly before my Father.
For all of us, it is important to remember that God is love. We beg him to show us that he loves us, when he already sent his Son to die. He could not possibly do more than that! His love is proved, we have only to accept it. Only a cruel God would command something of us that we could not do. Therefore, if Jesus commands faithfulness and forgiveness, we have the power within us to follow through. I'm giving myself a pep-talk here. I hope it will bless you as well.
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